Tak Layak Dicinta

Aku memang jauh dari kata sempurna

Aku juga jauh dari kata tampan

Aku juga jauh dari kata baik

Karena itu aku jauh dirimu........

Dipermukaan Aku mungkin nampak tenang, seperti Lautan tanpa ombak

Namun sejujurnya jauh di kedalaman aku gelap gulita, berarus kencang menahan jiwa

Siapa pun yang datang membawa sauh, Hanya akan kutenggelamkan hingga jauh

Aku bukanlah telaga jernih penyejuk jiwa, Melainkan sebuah palung sepi, tempat segala cahaya binasa

Maka dari itu banyak perahu yang menghindariku...

Maka dari itu banyak kapal yang memutariku...

Nampaknya tak ada yang sudi menjamahku

Laut yang kelam ini memang tak layak menjadi pelabuhan.

Laut yang kelam ini memang tak pantas dicinta

I Finally Found You

 I was a bird

who tried to run from it's cage

who learned the sky by failing

Each of my wing remembered

how often it was taught

that the flight that they longing to is a mistakes,

that wanting air was too much to asked for.

And below me...

the water waited.

I tried drinking from it,

but i never knew

that i was not meant to be,

that it was slowly poisoning me.

then the wind blows...

not loud....

not certain....

Just....... Kind (I Guess)

You arrived with the wind,

the person who does not command wings,

do not ask,

only smile...

You, too..... were afraid (I Guess)

both of us hurt

feathers down,

gills aching for air,

a body taught to survive by hiding and quietly ending ourselves.

I did not asked to be rescued ('Cause i know you are hurt too)

but i only try to open my wings and let the current decide.

Somewhere between sky and sea, we learned a third language,

a language where birds may rest on water,

where fish may dream of clouds big in the sky,

where our loves do not need to be granted permission by the people.

SO Dear,

let us walk the shoreline,

Only You and I,

Let us walk, not run

grow, not rush

Let us be two imperfect souls

choosing each other

in the soft of life, and the difficult of work of becoming

And after all this time,

Finding you

It does not feel like this is an arrival, nor felt like and end

Rather it makes me feel like belonging

belonging to the in-between

belonging... to... You....

Caged Love

I was a caged bird, born with wings of questions....
my feathers hurts and stitched with silences...
I was born too afraid of mirrors
too bruised by words...

but, i found you...
while i hovered with no directions.....
you called me babe,
like i belong.....
with one glance and one words... you crack open my cage....

I dove toward you
like a bird chasing spring,
your voice the wind beneath
my desperate be..... 

you are the sun i longed to....

but just when you are hungered....

Each word from your lips was a bait,

a breadcrumbs for my hopelessness,

i was the gull who never dock...

circling over the ships,

only summoned when you need feeding.

When I begged to the sky for clarity, for truth,

you offered fog, changed the subject, tightened the leash.

And one day...I fell.

not to earth... but to the deep dark blue sea..

A silent, choking ocean where my wings were useless,

and your love was a weight tied to my ankles.

I did not know how deeply a bird could drown.

But even in that deep, my breath returned

I remembered the sky.

I remembered me.

So I kicked through your depths, clawed my way past the tide of your wanting,

rose dripping and torn but alive.

hollow.... but Alive..

Now I fly again,

not for you, not for everyone but for me.

My wings are tired, but mine.

cut through clouds with grace.

The deep ocean is now behind me.
The sky did not ask me to shrink again.
No more love shaped like a chain.
No more tides disguise.
Only flight, Only breath, Only me
soaring high in the sky free from the guilt of love.....
free from you.

MOURNING PRIDE

JUNE IS A MONTH OF HAPPINESS.....

Well that's what people always says anyway

JUNE IS A MONTH OF THE RAINBOW.....

Well that's what people always celebrate

but here in these land I stand...

nothings changed...…..

from kids being afraid of being one

to adults hiding themselves among the crowd

NOTHING IS DIFFERENT

NOTHING IS CHANGED

WE STILL HURT

WE STILL KILLED

WE STILL HUNTED

and there you are celebrating your pride forgetting that we here are also dying to feel a lived, free and happy

without the judgment of society

without the eyes of people lurking behind our back waiting to stab us on the right moment

now, that you hear our voices...

now, that you see us...

please mourn the pride and fight for us.

 

Let Me Free

As a Bird Flying High

As a Bird Flying Freely in the sky

As a Bird in the tree that alighted

You Go Freely without looking by

Can I be as Free ?

Can i be the bird Flying Freely in the sky ?

Can i be the true of me without looking by ?

As you go Freely without looking by

Menjadi Pelangi

Disini dia pernah berdiri

Disini dia masih berdiri

Disini dia akan berdiri

Berdiri teguh Menuntut Hari

Menuntut Hari indah yang terimpi 

Menuntut hari dimana dia bisa terisi

Terisi Oleh Cinta yang tak pernah bertepi 

Terisi Oleh Rasa yang Manis tanpa perih

Namun semua itu hanya mimpi
mimpi semu yang bertepi , sepi dan perih
Apakah aku Memang sudah tak mungkin lagi ?
Tak Mungkin memiliki kasih yang teramat kini

Aku memang hanyalah setitik warna dalam kelamnya hujan yang menutupi
Namun aku juga ingin berteriak Merekah pergi
Seperti pancaran 6 warna pelangi yang indah berseri
Kesemuanya memberi arti yang suci

Aku ingin keluar pergi dan dapat berdiri tegak menjadi sebuah pelangi
Menjadi Pelangi yang tercipta dari ribuan butir rintik air caci maki
Menjadi Sebuah Penutup indah dari kelamnya hidup yang tak berhenti henti mencaci maki diri
Aku ini juga ingin hidup laksana yang lain, indah bahagia berwarna seri


Tuhan , jika memang aku tak boleh menjadi diriku yang asli setidaknya biarkanlah aku mencoba mengisi diri ini dengan kasih yang teramat suci
Sebelum Aku mati mengemis dalam pedih.  

Gapailah Aku

Termenung aku diam
Diam dalam lingkaran tak bertepi hanyut dalam
Bagai sebuah anjing yang merongrong lalu diam
terhisap pasir fatamorgana yang mulai hilang

Engkau diam termenung tenang
diluar lingkaran tak bertepi yang menghanyut dalam
bagai seekor anjing yang melihat baik majikannya menghilang
hilang terhisap pasir syahdu yang menyesatkan dalam

Tolong............Tolong gapailah aku wahai engkau Sang penjaga
Aku masih ingin merasa hidup dalam hening ini
Aku masih ingin secerca harap dalam gelap ini
Aku masih ingin merasa tanpa harus bersembunyi disini

Tolong keluarkan aku dari dalam sini
Aku takut.......
Aku Dingin.....
Aku Kesepian...
Tolong..... Gapailah.... Daku....

Gagas Refiandy Satrya 

I just realized

I Just Realize

Time goes by....
Everything seems so far
I don't know how
I don't know how to catch it up

I just can stand silent
Hoping that you're going back to me
Like old time we've been together
Or hoping for more

Cause I just realized how important you for me
But I'm too afraid to said to you
And all the birds are flying away from me
I'm so lonely and I just realized that I need you more

                                           By : GagasRS

Far Far Away

Far Far Away

Far Far Away.....
I feel like you're far far away
I missed you but you're just too far far away
It's closed but it also far far away

Why are you so far far away
Don't you realized that you're so far far away
I want to meet you but you're just too far far away
It's far far away but it also closed

Don't you remember the day
When we're not far far away
Don't you realized that
It's all has changed

But it's too late
And once again it's too late
Cause you're now just too far far away
I wish that I can catch you
But you're just too far far away

                                           By : GagasRs

Letter for The Creators

Dear the almighty
Can I ask a Question.... Question about the purpose of this life
Asking about what should i do in this miserable life ?

Dear The Omniscient 

Why do i life only to feel the pain of the world

Why do i life only to be cursed by the entire world

Dear The Creator
Why did You Created me different from the other just for me to be cursed ?
Do I wrong to feel love ?
Do I wrong to follow My Heart ?

Dear the almighty 

Why did you Curse me when you made me this way ?

Do I Wrong from loving each other without seeing ?

I want to Scream Out Loud that Love Is Love 

But the entire universe is trying to shut my mouth and follow the words in a book said to be from you The Almighty and The Omniscient Creator of live. 

Rise Do I ?

In the Dark I Rise
Strong, Loud and Independent
Waiting For The Sun Rise in the end of Horizon
Even though it is impossible to shine


Gagas Refiandy Satrya

Am I or You Are ?

Am I weird or You are ?
Am I wrong or You are ?
Am I a Sinner or You are ?
Am I a Monster or Yo are ?

Why because i love differently  i became weird ?
Love never be weird but we made it looks weird
Love never blame but we always blame it
Love Always comforting but we always make it uncomfortable

Why because i love differently i suddenly became wrong ?