Letter to myself

 I thought I only closed my eyes for a moment

but I'm old already

I thought I would be a little child forever

but I have already grown up

I still don't know lot about life

so I still can't tell anything to myself

but I want myself to be happier

so I will try to find a word inside my heart to tell


Be Brave...

Be Hopeful....

Be who you are....

cause I can't do it.

I know this world is crazy sometimes....

I know that we might feel like we are a miss....

but.... who cares about the world 

(Well, I did)

I Finally Found You

 I was a bird

who tried to run from it's cage

who learned the sky by failing

Each of my wing remembered

how often it was taught

that the flight that they longing to is a mistakes,

that wanting air was too much to asked for.

And below me...

the water waited.

I tried drinking from it,

but i never knew

that i was not meant to be,

that it was slowly poisoning me.

then the wind blows...

not loud....

not certain....

Just....... Kind (I Guess)

You arrived with the wind,

the person who does not command wings,

do not ask,

only smile...

You, too..... were afraid (I Guess)

both of us hurt

feathers down,

gills aching for air,

a body taught to survive by hiding and quietly ending ourselves.

I did not asked to be rescued ('Cause i know you are hurt too)

but i only try to open my wings and let the current decide.

Somewhere between sky and sea, we learned a third language,

a language where birds may rest on water,

where fish may dream of clouds big in the sky,

where our loves do not need to be granted permission by the people.

SO Dear,

let us walk the shoreline,

Only You and I,

Let us walk, not run

grow, not rush

Let us be two imperfect souls

choosing each other

in the soft of life, and the difficult of work of becoming

And after all this time,

Finding you

It does not feel like this is an arrival, nor felt like and end

Rather it makes me feel like belonging

belonging to the in-between

belonging... to... You....

Caged Love

I was a caged bird, born with wings of questions....
my feathers hurts and stitched with silences...
I was born too afraid of mirrors
too bruised by words...

but, i found you...
while i hovered with no directions.....
you called me babe,
like i belong.....
with one glance and one words... you crack open my cage....

I dove toward you
like a bird chasing spring,
your voice the wind beneath
my desperate be..... 

you are the sun i longed to....

but just when you are hungered....

Each word from your lips was a bait,

a breadcrumbs for my hopelessness,

i was the gull who never dock...

circling over the ships,

only summoned when you need feeding.

When I begged to the sky for clarity, for truth,

you offered fog, changed the subject, tightened the leash.

And one day...I fell.

not to earth... but to the deep dark blue sea..

A silent, choking ocean where my wings were useless,

and your love was a weight tied to my ankles.

I did not know how deeply a bird could drown.

But even in that deep, my breath returned

I remembered the sky.

I remembered me.

So I kicked through your depths, clawed my way past the tide of your wanting,

rose dripping and torn but alive.

hollow.... but Alive..

Now I fly again,

not for you, not for everyone but for me.

My wings are tired, but mine.

cut through clouds with grace.

The deep ocean is now behind me.
The sky did not ask me to shrink again.
No more love shaped like a chain.
No more tides disguise.
Only flight, Only breath, Only me
soaring high in the sky free from the guilt of love.....
free from you.