Tak Layak Dicinta

Aku memang jauh dari kata sempurna

Aku juga jauh dari kata tampan

Aku juga jauh dari kata baik

Karena itu aku jauh dirimu........

Dipermukaan Aku mungkin nampak tenang, seperti Lautan tanpa ombak

Namun sejujurnya jauh di kedalaman aku gelap gulita, berarus kencang menahan jiwa

Siapa pun yang datang membawa sauh, Hanya akan kutenggelamkan hingga jauh

Aku bukanlah telaga jernih penyejuk jiwa, Melainkan sebuah palung sepi, tempat segala cahaya binasa

Maka dari itu banyak perahu yang menghindariku...

Maka dari itu banyak kapal yang memutariku...

Nampaknya tak ada yang sudi menjamahku

Laut yang kelam ini memang tak layak menjadi pelabuhan.

Laut yang kelam ini memang tak pantas dicinta

Letter to myself

 I thought I only closed my eyes for a moment

but I'm old already

I thought I would be a little child forever

but I have already grown up

I still don't know lot about life

so I still can't tell anything to myself

but I want myself to be happier

so I will try to find a word inside my heart to tell


Be Brave...

Be Hopeful....

Be who you are....

cause I can't do it.

I know this world is crazy sometimes....

I know that we might feel like we are a miss....

but.... who cares about the world 

(Well, I did)

I Finally Found You

 I was a bird

who tried to run from it's cage

who learned the sky by failing

Each of my wing remembered

how often it was taught

that the flight that they longing to is a mistakes,

that wanting air was too much to asked for.

And below me...

the water waited.

I tried drinking from it,

but i never knew

that i was not meant to be,

that it was slowly poisoning me.

then the wind blows...

not loud....

not certain....

Just....... Kind (I Guess)

You arrived with the wind,

the person who does not command wings,

do not ask,

only smile...

You, too..... were afraid (I Guess)

both of us hurt

feathers down,

gills aching for air,

a body taught to survive by hiding and quietly ending ourselves.

I did not asked to be rescued ('Cause i know you are hurt too)

but i only try to open my wings and let the current decide.

Somewhere between sky and sea, we learned a third language,

a language where birds may rest on water,

where fish may dream of clouds big in the sky,

where our loves do not need to be granted permission by the people.

SO Dear,

let us walk the shoreline,

Only You and I,

Let us walk, not run

grow, not rush

Let us be two imperfect souls

choosing each other

in the soft of life, and the difficult of work of becoming

And after all this time,

Finding you

It does not feel like this is an arrival, nor felt like and end

Rather it makes me feel like belonging

belonging to the in-between

belonging... to... You....